The Illusion of Love
Are We Really Loving Others as Ourselves?
Many of us like to believe we love others as we love ourselves. But when we stop and examine our motives, actions, and sacrifices (or lack thereof), we may find that we fall short. We live in a culture that prizes convenience, comfort, and personal gain. It’s easy—even habitual—to think:
“How will this affect me?”
“What do I get out of this?”
“Is this worth my time or effort?”
If the answer isn’t personally beneficial, we often pass by opportunities to help or love others.
Yet, God’s Word doesn’t call us to convenience—it calls us to Christlike sacrifice.
The Command: Love Your Neighbor As Yourself
Jesus was very clear in His teaching about love. When asked which commandment was the greatest, He replied:
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like it:
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
—Matthew 22:37–40 (NKJV)
This love is not passive or optional. It is active and all-encompassing. It is a mirror of the way we care for ourselves—our needs, our comfort, our well-being—transferred to the care of others.
The Example: Jesus, Our Model of Selfless Love
Jesus didn’t just preach love—He embodied it.
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
—John 15:13 (NKJV)
Christ didn’t ask what was in it for Him. He bore the cross for the good of others—even when they were ungrateful, hostile, and undeserving. Paul explains it beautifully:
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
—Romans 5:8 (NKJV)
Jesus served the sick, touched lepers, welcomed children, spoke to outcasts, and washed the feet of His disciples—all acts of love that cost Him time, energy, and even His reputation. He didn't ask, "How does this help Me?" Instead, He asked, "How can I help them?"
The Challenge: Dying to Self
The love Jesus calls us to is self-denying:
“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.”
—Luke 9:23 (NKJV)
True love doesn’t just exist when it’s easy or when it benefits us. Real love shows up when it costs us something: time, money, energy, convenience, or comfort.
John reminds us that love is more than just words:
“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.”
—1 John 3:18 (NKJV)
Loving as Jesus Loved
To love others as ourselves is not merely to wish them well. It’s to:
Treat them with compassion, even when we’re busy.
Forgive, even when it’s hard.
Give, even when it’s inconvenient.
Encourage, even when we feel discouraged.
Pray for them, even if they’ve wronged us.
As Paul says:
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”
—Philippians 2:3 (NKJV)
This mindset doesn’t come naturally—but it comes spiritually when we seek to walk as Jesus walked.
Conclusion: A Different Kind of Love
Christian love isn’t about feelings—it’s about faithfulness. It’s a daily decision to love others as we love ourselves—not because it benefits us, but because it glorifies God.
Let us ask ourselves honestly:
Do I love others the way I want to be loved? Or only when it’s easy?
If the answer challenges you—it should. And that’s good.
Because growth begins when comfort ends.
“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.”
—1 Peter 4:8 (NKJV)